If I could meet an earlier self, the 18-year-old romantic with starry eyes and star-crossed soul, what could I tell me about life and love?

I would tell me that my view of love is wrong. That, yes, love is created through deliberate effort and caring and placing others' needs above your own; but you need something to work with, and sexual attraction is not enough.

I would tell me to take more time before making any decisions. Anyone is nice and caring when the love is new, for a short time. But the true person shows in glimpses and moments over long periods of time.

I would tell me to pay most attention to character. Someone who loves attention and parties and fun isn't someone to build a quiet life with. Someone who lies to their parents to avoid trouble will lie to you.

I would tell me that although I can talk myself out of trouble with facile words, it is better to admit error and apologize. Anyone who can't understand doesn't match with you; anyone who won't try to understand doesn't love you; and anyone who won't forgive isn't worth spending time with. To avoid finding this out after a serious commitment, revisit the second point once again.

I would tell me that it is better to have the right person than to have a person, and so by corollary it is better to remain alone than have the wrong person.

Would I listen?